So you’re finally ready to get therapy. You have decided that it’s time to get the support you deserve. Next stop: Therapy; Choo Choo! And that’s when you realize another thing; Where do you FIND a therapist. And not just that, one that works for YOU. Sadly, in India, there are a lot of therapists who are not well-trained or well-equipped to be in such a sensitive and responsible profession. How do you weed out the ones that aren’t for you and get that sweet sweet therapy? Let’s find out!
The Client – You
It starts with you!
- Picking a therapist can be daunting, but it becomes more challenging when you don’t know what it is that YOU want from therapy itself. It’s like knowing you want to buy something from the grocery store but not having a list with you. That doesn’t mean you need to know EXACTLY what you want or need from therapy. But a little self understanding will go a long way in making a choice for your therapist. Something as simple as “I don’t know what I want, but I want to figure that out in Therapy” is also helpful enough for this purpose. Skilled therapists are trained to help you identify what it is that you want, but having a rough idea significantly boosts that process!
- Secondly, know your expectations. If you know them, you will know if they are being met by a therapist that works for you, or not met by a therapist that isn’t for you. You may use the following fill in the blanks to find out your expectations from the therapist!
“I want my Therapist to __________.”
- Finally, be emotionally present during sessions. This doesn’t mean that you must know exactly what you’re feeling all the time. It means that you honestly share with your therapist how you’re feeling during sessions. The natural instinct is to suppress our emotions and give “right” answers when in reality such things don’t exist in relation to emotions. In fact, hiding our emotions in therapy may make it more difficult for the therapist to support you! You don’t have to do all the work, but it would be very helpful for the process and your growth to meet the therapist halfway.
The Therapist
As we mentioned earlier, there are incompetent and unwholesome therapists out there too that give the profession a bad name. One way to check for them is by checking their qualifications. There are three kinds of professionals:
- Counseling Psychologists: They have a Master Degree in Counseling Psychology or Clinical Psychology from an accredited University. They focus on short term problems that are present in a person’s life and are focused on how to enable the client to solve their problems. It is also short term and doesn’t exceed 6 months.
- Psychotherapist: They have done their super-specialization in specific kinds of therapies like cognitive behavioral therapy, etc from well-reputed institutions in addition to their Masters. They can also perform counseling but also tackle chronic and recurrent problems using evidence-based techniques. It is also long-term in nature. We talk about the major therapies in use below.
- Clinical Psychologist: They have special training in addition to a Master degree that qualifies them to work with patients suffering from mental illnesses and nervous breakdowns. They are licensed by the Rehabilitation Council of India (RCI) and are also qualified to give talk therapy to them and work in asylums and rehabilitation centers.
In India, the lines are a little blurry due to lack of a proper system of licensing. That’s the reason why such confusion shrouds these distinctions in the three occupations. It also makes finding a good therapist a tad bit more challenging. It is a growing field and a lot more qualified professionals have entered the profession so we hope the regulations are soon to follow as well!
In addition to knowing their qualifications, ask them questions that you would want to know that would put you at ease before starting to work with them. Some of these questions can be:
- Will our conversations be confidential?
- Have you encountered a concern like mine before?
- What do your sessions look like?
You may ask them ANY question that would help toward this end. There are no stupid questions! And if a therapist responds as if your question is stupid or makes you feel uncomfortable about your questions then that is definitely not the therapist for you!
Schools of Thought
Even within psychology there are different schools of thought based on sound evidence-based theories. These schools of thought are the basis of different kinds of therapy which psychotherapists practice. Sometimes they practice more than one. Let’s check out some commonly schools of thought
- Cognitive-Behavioral: This school of thought believes that the various problems faced by people are due to irrational thoughts which are connected to unhelpful behaviors. One follows the other, or vice versa. To fix the problem one must then identify these thoughts and behaviors and repair them. Therapies like Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBY), etc, fall within this school of thought.
- Psychodynamic: Psychodynamic school of thought emphasizes on the unconscious processes that in shaping behavior and personality. They believe that unresolved conflicts and unconscious dynamics from childhood cause functional problems in adults. Light is then thrown on these hidden elements within a person using multiple techniques to promote self-understanding and growth. Therapies like Transactional Analysis fall within this school of thought.
- Humanistic: This school of thoughts focuses on understanding individuals as whole persons and emphasizes their innate drive towards growth, fulfillment, and self-actualization. They believe that when people aren’t provided the wholesome conditions for growth, they become stunted. They use techniques to create a supportive and empathetic environment conducive to growth and promote self-awareness. Therapies like person-centered therapy fall within this school of thought.
- Eclectic: This school of thought basically takes bits and pieces from multiple schools of thoughts, including the ones we’ve discussed. There is however a difference between a therapist that hasn’t mastered their process yet that uses multiple techniques without a sound structure, and one that understands which technique to use where and with which client. If your therapist uses a bunch of techniques that don’t fall into a specific school of thought, then it’s the eclectic approach to psychotherapy.
There are other schools of therapy but they aren’t as well-known or widely practiced yet!
Discomforted by Therapy: Is it the Therapist or the Process?
Discomfort is part of the therapeutic process. However it is important to be able to differentiate whether the discomfort is one that is normal to the process, or caused by an unsuitable therapist. Therapy is not just growth-growth, rainbow and lollipops (granted, it can be that too!). There is some amount of discomfort inherent in the therapy process because growth is never easy. It takes us out of our comfort zones and asks us to improve, albeit at our own pace. Inconvenience and discomfort therefore is an unavoidable part of the process. But there are chances that your discomfort and inconvenience stem not from the process (indicating helpful growth) but from the incompetence, inexperience, or discourtesy of the therapist. That is not helpful and if that is the case, you must change your therapist because they’re harming more than they’re helping you. The best way to know which one it is, is to trust your gut! If you trust your therapist and feel not okay, it is probably the process. But if you don’t like your therapist and don’t feel safe even after a couple of sessions, it is probably the therapist.
And there you have it! The ultimate guide to picking a therapist that works for you. Therapist shopping can be challenging, inconvenient, and time-consuming. Putting in that effort to find a therapist that works for you can really make all the difference in your journey. And as always, we’re always here to help should you find yourself in need of it!