Why do I attract situationships?

Word of the day- Situationships! It is the new black and the new sexy. A modern offshoot of the age-old concept of relationships, situationships are becoming the go-to choice for people who want companionship along with their freedom; a.k.a something casual. 

“Situationships have an in-built lack of clarity” 

Situationships are somewhere between committed relationships and brief hook-ups. Situationships offer people the benefits of partnership without the burdens of commitment. It conserves emotional energy but there may be a little emotional connection involved. Which may be why they’re spreading. It’s like eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch, and dinner without having to deal with the pesky consequences! Situationships don’t have the “conversation” wherein both partners discuss the role they want to play in each other’s life. As a result, they have an in-built lack of clarity.

“Unmet expectations hurt both partners uniquely”

It is this lack of clarity that may empower the people in a situationship with the perceived freedom that they desire. The lack of clarity and conversation may not get rid of all the expectations that we naturally tend to hold. “A couple of canceled dates. What’s the problem, we’re not committed?” Unmet expectations may hurt both partners in uniquely different ways. So if this lack of clarity is perceived as freedom there must be a reason, right? It may be because this same clarity in the form of commitment is popularly perceived as burdensome chains that hinder our lives. Interestingly, relationships when healthy in nature can provide us with companionship, intimacy, AND freedom. Relationships can be scary, and in front of that, situationships provide opportunities for intimacy without the pain. But is it really painless? 

“Both partners can make up the situationship to be whatever they truly desire”

Imagine an unclear silver screen on which is projected an unfocused image. We may see what we want to see, projecting our desires on it. That is loosely how a situationship may work too. Both partners can individually make up the situationship to be what they desire most, any conversation potentially ruining the perceived perfect balance. 

“It is human to feel fear, but to submit to that fear cages our humanity”

The answer to the question “Why do I attract situationships?” isn’t a simple “because you eat too much cheese” which is also absurd and improbable. Our unrealistic views and bitter relationship experiences may play a role in our choosing situationships over relationships. It is human to feel fear, but to submit to that fear cages our humanity. Situationships aren’t bad, in fact, they may be helpful when we want to ethically experiment and find out what we want in relationships. But they may not be able to sustainably fulfill our wants and needs. And if you want support untangling this highly personalized web of thoughts and beliefs, we’re always here for you!