Empathy is one of the best survival tools in the world. It empowers us to understand our fellow (hu)man, and build stronger connections. But if left unchecked, it can turn into a black hole—draining our energy, overwhelming our emotions, and leaving us utterly exhausted.
Empathy allows us to step into another person’s shoes, to feel their joys and sorrows as if our own. This essential human trait has helped us build strong, expansive communities since the dawn of time. It empowers us to connect, understand, and support one another, fostering a sense of collective well-being. Without it, society risks descending into ruthless pragmatism—a dog-eat-dog world devoid of compassion.
But, as with most things in life, balance is key. Too much empathy can lead to what experts call ‘empathy burnout.’ This state of physical and emotional exhaustion arises when we over-empathize to the point of neglecting our own needs, sometimes even abandoning ourselves entirely.
Interestingly, this isn’t a phenomenon limited to caregiving professionals—it can affect anyone who cares deeply and without bounds. So, let’s dive in and explore the dark side of empathy: what it is, why it happens, and how to protect ourselves from its draining effects.
What Happens When We Care Too Much?
Nothing good! While experts may differ on the specifics, they all agree that empathy burnout arises from the overuse of our empathetic “muscles” and can take a toll on our mental, physical, and emotional well-being. It manifests through a variety of symptoms, including:
- Emotional exhaustion
- Depersonalization (feeling detached from oneself or others)
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability
- Sleep problems
- Physical ailments (e.g., headaches, stomach issues)
- Increased risk of anxiety and depression
- Chronic fatigue
- Avoiding social interactions
It’s important to note that this experience is highly subjective and can manifest differently from person to person. For some, it may be a quiet withdrawal from social life; for others, it may show up as heightened irritability or chronic physical fatigue.
Regardless of how it presents, if the root cause is excessive empathy, it’s considered empathy burnout. This condition is also referred to by other names, such as compassion fatigue or empathy fatigue.
What Causes Empathy Burnout?
- Traits and Skills: Some people who are naturally more sensitive, and empathetic, or people trained to practise empathy as a core professional skill, are more susceptible to burnout. Some of us naturally tend to absorb the emotions and pain of people around us, especially if we care about them. Think lightning rod during a thunder storm, if it’s not properly earthed, the rod itself is in danger of being hurt.
- Cumulative Exposure to Suffering: It’s like a glass overflowing–it first needs to be absolutely full. So the cup fills up, variably, over time. Much like physical exertion leads to exhaustion. And unless the glass is appropriately emptied regularly, or as needed, it’s a one-stop train to burnout junction.
- Empathy Fatigue Buttons: Some things emotionally affect us more than others. For example, for someone hearing about a harmless prank may trigger emotional memories of being bullied in school, evoking a negative emotional reaction. Each of us have unique sensitivities, and vulnerabilities, and being exposed to them exhausts us more.
- Lack of Boundaries: Empathy is feeling as if you are the other person. ‘As if’ being the key words, since they ground the empath in their own reality. To understand another’s perspective, and return to one’s own self. An absence of this understanding can lead us to overextend ourselves beyond our capabilities, or take up too many responsibilities. This leads to feelings of self-abandonment (among others) that overtime contributes substantially to empathy burnout.
- Lack of Self-Care: This ties intimately with the second point. People throughout their lives are naturally exposed to suffering, but couple that with a lack of self-care, and it’s like petrol to a fire. As an airline attendant would instruct, it is imperative to put on one’s own mask in case of oxygen failure before moving to help the person next to you! Such is also true of life in general.
Inadequate emotional hygiene leads to empathy burnout, just like inadequate physical hygiene may lead to skin infections. Unfortunately, since we can’t point towards a single “virus”, or concretely calculate the toll it takes on us, emotional labour is discounted and taken for granted. Couple that with the mistaken bifurcation of mind being separate from the body, and the concept becomes alien to the masses. It is very real, and it is most likely to affect us at some points in our lives!
How to Beat Empathy Burnout?
- Cultivate Self-Awareness & Recognise the Warning Signs: Explore your empathy fatigue triggers, and how empathy burnout manifests in your life, and monitor your energy levels. (starting with acknowledging your pain!). Forewarned is forearmed, and prevention is better than cure. You’re already on the path by reading this blog!
- Exercise!: Engage in physical activities that you enjoy. Exercise helps release tension, expel negative energy, and prevent energy stagnation. It’s a natural detox for both mind and body.
- Sleep, sleep, sleep: It is essential for calming the nervous system, and replenishing our energy reserves. Bad sleep can have its own set of disadvantages, and being tired makes us more susceptible to absorbing stress.
- Crystal Clear Boundaries: This is crucial for preventing energy depletion, and burnout. It helps if the people around you know your boundaries, but it is most important to have these in mind when you’re empathising. Visualising techniques can help you with that mindfulness.
- Proactive Self-Care: Why wait to crash and burn? Take care of yourself everyday! Regular self-care practices can help replenish your energy levels, and allow you to be more present for your loved ones.
- Forgive Yourself: You can’t be there for everyone, all the time. Additionally, drawing boundaries may feel like you’re rejecting people. Both or either of these may induce guilt within you (or some other belief). But remember, closing your door to protect your peace and prioritising yourself isn’t selfish; it is essential for your well-being, and your ability to show up for others in a healthy, and sustainable way.
- Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness keeps you grounded in the present moment, fostering self-compassion. It helps you observe emotions without absorbing them, empowering you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively.
- Expect, accept, and learn from mistakes: This is admittedly a challenging tightrope manoeuvre to master. When we inevitably make mistakes, it is important to remember, trying is what matters. And the more we practise these skills, the better we get at exercising them when needed!
- Seek Support: Lean on trusted friends, family, or professional counsellors. Just as you offer support to others, allow yourself to receive it when needed. Therapy can be a valuable space to develop coping tools and build resilience.
Empathy burnout can take a heavy toll on your life, affecting your health, relationships, and overall happiness. However, the solution isn’t to shut off your empathy—it’s to learn how to manage it effectively. It’s a balance, which needs a host of other blocks, like electric circuits need circuit breakers to ensure the entire system doesn’t burst into flames! How dark the world would be without light, and empathy.
With the right tools and mindset, you can embrace empathy as a strength, not a burden. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, remember: support is just a call away. And if you ever need professional support, we’re always just a call away!
References
- Cairns, P., Isham, A. E., & Zachariae, R. (2024). The association between empathy and burnout in medical students: A systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Medical Education, 24, 640. https://bmcmededuc.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12909-024-05625-6
- Orloff, J. (2017). The empath’s survival guide: Life strategies for sensitive people. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
- Orloff, J. (2024). The genius of empathy: Practical skills to heal your sensitive self, your relationships, and the world. Boulder, CO: Sounds True.
- Stebnicki, M. A. (2008). Empathy fatigue: Healing the mind, body, and spirit of professional counsellors. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company.
- Yue, Z., Qin, Y., Li, Y., Wang, J., Nicholas, S., Maitland, E., & Liu, C. (2022). Empathy and burnout in medical staff: Mediating role of job satisfaction and job commitment. BMC Public Health, 22, 1033. https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-022-13405-4
- Zakerkish, M., Shakurnia, A., Hafezi, A., & Maniati, M. (2024). Association between burnout and empathy in medical residents. PLOS ONE, 19(4), e0301636. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0301636