We won’t mince our words and dilly or dally, we will tell you the reason supplied by our resident relationship psychotherapist Yogita Madan first and then explain it. So, the perfect reason for breaking up with your partner DOESN’T EXIST.
Yogita reveals how a lot of clients that she supports often ask her the perfect reason to break up with someone.
“What is that one thing that when it happens I SHOULD break up with my partner?”
There is no one universal answer that applies equally to everyone. Even seemingly “obvious” reasons like infidelity and abuse to separate from a partner are not universally applicable. It is surprising and discomforting to even think of situations like these, but they happen around us all the time. Someone may choose to stay in abusive relationships because they might be worse off without it. Even if this may be true only in their perception, it could very well be true in reality as well. For example, in regions where female empowerment is yet to reach in a more direct way, and patriarchy erodes the fabric of society, being single and unmarried may bring a lot of unwanted complications, and sometimes even physical harm. In situations like these, abuse or infidelity may seem like the smaller inconvenience to endure so that more fatal and visceral harm may be avoided. Yogita underlines this fact and shares how the relationships of others may seem a certain way but in actuality are quite different. Only the two people in a relationship know best what is happening in a relationship, and how have the power to make any changes together if they wish.
A perfect reason to break up, Yogita shares, is highly personal. It depends on what boundaries we set for ourselves, and our partners in a relationship. For some, it may be infidelity, abuse, or having different political and philosophical ideologies. A perfect reason then differs depending on who’s answering the question. And all those answers are valid for the people answering. To come up with your perfect reason, you have to think about it! Some questions that may help you reach your reasons, and suggested by Yogita, are as follows:
- What are some things that are most important for me in relationships?
- What are some relationship red flags for me?
- How motivated is my partner to work on this relationship?
- Am I extending a healthy amount of communication and support to my partner?
Having an answer to these questions will help you set boundaries with your partner that when broken, or neglected for too long then become the perfect sign for you to take action. This action may well be separating with your partner, or you may want to try to work it out with your partner. Whatever you choose, it is your choice! Relationships are tricky, but if they weren’t worth it, we wouldn’t have been such social animals! And if you ever want support in figuring out your perfect reason, or to work on your relationship, we’re always here for you! You can also join our upcoming workshop, “Building Lasting Connections” to help navigate your relationships! In this workshop, you can make your own relationship playbook with our Co-Founders Zohra and Yogita! Register now!
- Why Do Jordanian Women Stay in an Abusive Relationship: Implications for Health and Social Well‐Being – Gharaibeh – 2009
- Remaining in an Abusive Relationship: An Investment Model Analysis of Nonvoluntary Dependence – Caryl E. Rusbult, John M. Martz, 1995
- When Is It Enough for Me to Leave?:Black and Hispanic Women’s Response to Violent Relationships | SpringerLink